dragon
New member
Evo ga jedan svez
Jedino je Cak Noris promenio vise satova nego Milan Zmaj
Ovo je najbolji vic do sada. :lol: :lol:
Ajde ko zna neki dobar vic ...
- Thread starter milan zmaj
- Start date
Ovo je najbolji vic do sada. :lol: :lol:
milan zmaj
New member
kad se ti ne bi javio 
dragon
New member
Još par viceva iz IT sveta... :lol:
Diskutuju advokat, doktor i programer o tome da li je bolje imati ženu ili ljubavnicu.
Kaže adovkat: - Bolje je imati ženu, sa njom osnivaš porodicu koja ti daje stabilnost i podršku u životu.
Kaže doktor: - Bolje je imati ljubavnicu, ona pruža strast i veliko uzbuđenje.
Kaže programer: - Najbolje je imati obe! Žena misli da si kod ljubavnice, ljubavnica misli da si kod žene, a ti sediš i programiraš!
--
“I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”
--
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you...
--
Information Passing
Programmer to Team Leader:
"We can't do this proposed project. **CANNOT**. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of projects."
Team Leader to Project Manager:
"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any staff with experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature."
Project Manager to 1st Level Manager:
"This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."
1st Level Manager to Senior Level Manager:
"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution."
Senior Level Manager to CEO:
"This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances."
CEO to Client:
"This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame."
Diskutuju advokat, doktor i programer o tome da li je bolje imati ženu ili ljubavnicu.
Kaže adovkat: - Bolje je imati ženu, sa njom osnivaš porodicu koja ti daje stabilnost i podršku u životu.
Kaže doktor: - Bolje je imati ljubavnicu, ona pruža strast i veliko uzbuđenje.
Kaže programer: - Najbolje je imati obe! Žena misli da si kod ljubavnice, ljubavnica misli da si kod žene, a ti sediš i programiraš!
--
“I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”
--
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you...
--
Information Passing
Programmer to Team Leader:
"We can't do this proposed project. **CANNOT**. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of projects."
Team Leader to Project Manager:
"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any staff with experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature."
Project Manager to 1st Level Manager:
"This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."
1st Level Manager to Senior Level Manager:
"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution."
Senior Level Manager to CEO:
"This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances."
CEO to Client:
"This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame."
milan zmaj
New member
Dosla baba kod doktora sa nozem u kolenu. Pita je doktor sto ce joj noz u kolenu a baba mu kaze" meni je drugarice rekla da ako se ikad budem htela ubiti ubodem noz 2 prsta ispod sise.
Last edited by a moderator:
milan zmaj
New member
Bili mujo,haso i era da trase kucu i kaze jedan deda evo vam ova kuca besplatno.Udje mujo i kaze duh ja sam duh sa prljavim rukama i mujo pobegne kroz prozor.Udje haso i kaze duh ja sam duh sa prljavim rukama i haso pobegne kroz prozor i udje era i dodje duh i kaze ja sam duh sa prljavim rukama a era ajde idi operi ru...ke da jedemo.
Last edited by a moderator:
bursa
New member
Gladna Lisica šunja se u nadi da će naći nešto da pojede.
Tek od jednom iz žbuna se čuje Kuukurikuuu!!!
Lija sva sretna skoči u žbun, kad tamo Meda.
Meda dohvati Liju i poče da je guzi.
I dok on tako radi, poče razmišljati naglas Od kad sam naučio ove strane jezike, riba kolko oćeš.
Tek od jednom iz žbuna se čuje Kuukurikuuu!!!
Lija sva sretna skoči u žbun, kad tamo Meda.
Meda dohvati Liju i poče da je guzi.
I dok on tako radi, poče razmišljati naglas Od kad sam naučio ove strane jezike, riba kolko oćeš.
Marko 5
New member
Dolazi saobracajac ranije kuci a zena mu nesto sumnjiva,kaze joj imas svalera,znam da je tu! ona ga ubedjuje da nema,trazi pandur,otvara orman nema ga,spajz nije ni tu,gleda na terasi nema ga,baci pogled ispod kreveta kad on tamo... Svaler pruza ruku i daje mu 20 eura. Pandur uzima,diskretno ih stavlja u dzep i kaze - Vidi stvarno ga nema...
sima hrabri
Moderator
Vozi lik BMW-a i skuca se u kontejner. Iznerviran, izlazi iz auta da vidi
stetu, a u istom trenutku izlazi i Ciga iz kontejnera i kaze:
- B'ate, 'oces da se dogovorimo ili da zovem muriju?!
stetu, a u istom trenutku izlazi i Ciga iz kontejnera i kaze:
- B'ate, 'oces da se dogovorimo ili da zovem muriju?!
bursa
New member
Dva krupijea stoje u kockarnici pored stola sa kockicama.
Pojavljuje se privlačna plavuša, stavi 20.000 dolara na jedan broj i kaže:
- Mislim da nećete imati ništa protiv, ali mnogo više sreće imam kada sam potpuno gola.
Plavuša svuče sve sa sebe, uzme kocke baci ih i vikne:
- Hajde, kockice mile, mamici treba nova garderoba!
Kada su se kocke zaustavile plavuša skoči od sreće:
- To! To! Dobila sam, dobila!
Zagrli oba krupijea, uzme svoj dobitak i odeću i ode.
Krupijei se sa nevericom gledaju međusobno. Posle nekog vremena jedan pita drugog:
- Na koliko su kockice pale?
- Nemam pojma – mislio sam da ti gledaš!
Pojavljuje se privlačna plavuša, stavi 20.000 dolara na jedan broj i kaže:
- Mislim da nećete imati ništa protiv, ali mnogo više sreće imam kada sam potpuno gola.
Plavuša svuče sve sa sebe, uzme kocke baci ih i vikne:
- Hajde, kockice mile, mamici treba nova garderoba!
Kada su se kocke zaustavile plavuša skoči od sreće:
- To! To! Dobila sam, dobila!
Zagrli oba krupijea, uzme svoj dobitak i odeću i ode.
Krupijei se sa nevericom gledaju međusobno. Posle nekog vremena jedan pita drugog:
- Na koliko su kockice pale?
- Nemam pojma – mislio sam da ti gledaš!
Marko 5
New member
VRHH :lol::lol::lol:
Dzoni
New member
Opljačkali Pikasa, i dok je lopov bježao sa slikama Pikaso ga malo zapamtio kako je izgledao.
Pozvao policiju, i pošto u to vrijeme nije bilo tehnologije i Foto Robota kao danas-rekla policija Pikasu da ga nacrta ne bi li ga brže prepoznali i uhvatili!
Pikaso se latio kista, napravio sliku, dao policiji i nakon nekoliko dana policija mu javlja;
"Gospodine, na osnovu vaše slike-identifikacije prepoznali smo nekoliko sumnjivaca;jedan frižider, jedan tramvaj i jednog majmuna u zoo!"
Pozvao policiju, i pošto u to vrijeme nije bilo tehnologije i Foto Robota kao danas-rekla policija Pikasu da ga nacrta ne bi li ga brže prepoznali i uhvatili!
Pikaso se latio kista, napravio sliku, dao policiji i nakon nekoliko dana policija mu javlja;
"Gospodine, na osnovu vaše slike-identifikacije prepoznali smo nekoliko sumnjivaca;jedan frižider, jedan tramvaj i jednog majmuna u zoo!"
bursa
New member
Sajber folk
“SINOĆ SAM TE GUGLO”
Sinoć sam te guglo
tražio po fejsu
twitao ti majku
kliko po majspejsu
čito komentare
nepoznatih ljudi.
Ko se s giikom petlja
pravo mu i budi!
Milo gledam heder
i na blogu entry
u arhivu dane
kad smo bili sretny
ali ti si autor
i ja nemam prava.
Sve o nama svijetu
rekla si na netu!
Slike si na fliker
okačila ziher
ja više ne mogu
čitat to na blogu
(ref.)
Neću forum!
ni jutjuba!
jebem i taj!
veb dva nula!
da bar jednom!
preko dana!
vidimo se!
bez ekrana!
:cray: Jooooj de me nadje :cray: (moj komentar)
“SINOĆ SAM TE GUGLO”
Sinoć sam te guglo
tražio po fejsu
twitao ti majku
kliko po majspejsu
čito komentare
nepoznatih ljudi.
Ko se s giikom petlja
pravo mu i budi!
Milo gledam heder
i na blogu entry
u arhivu dane
kad smo bili sretny
ali ti si autor
i ja nemam prava.
Sve o nama svijetu
rekla si na netu!
Slike si na fliker
okačila ziher
ja više ne mogu
čitat to na blogu
(ref.)
Neću forum!
ni jutjuba!
jebem i taj!
veb dva nula!
da bar jednom!
preko dana!
vidimo se!
bez ekrana!
:cray: Jooooj de me nadje :cray: (moj komentar)
Marko 5
New member
Ova tema je bas zapustena
Cak Noris kad jede kikiriki zna tacno sta je kiki a sta riki.
Alexander Graham Bell je izumeo telefon 1876.godine. Kada ga je sastavio, i pustio u rad, shvatio je da ima dva propuštena poziva od Chuck Norrisa.
Kad Cak Noris drugom jamu kopa, drugi u jamu i upadne
Chuck Norrisu konobari ostavljaju baksis
Chuck Norris je najjaci zato sto vezba dva dana dnevno
Cak Noris kad jede kikiriki zna tacno sta je kiki a sta riki.
Alexander Graham Bell je izumeo telefon 1876.godine. Kada ga je sastavio, i pustio u rad, shvatio je da ima dva propuštena poziva od Chuck Norrisa.
Kad Cak Noris drugom jamu kopa, drugi u jamu i upadne
Chuck Norrisu konobari ostavljaju baksis
Chuck Norris je najjaci zato sto vezba dva dana dnevno
